How To Break Up With Someone Toxic/Narcissistic Safely And Never Look Back, The Best Outfits From Daisy Jones And The Six That Make Me Wish It Was 1975, Signs You Lack Self-Love (And How To Develop It), 5 Powerful Boundaries To Counter Passive-Aggressive Narcissists, How To Channel Main Character Energy Like Daisy Jones & The Six. I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed! Its the sound of you not talkingfor once. But if you're a math teacher or a parent trying to help your kids (keyword: trying) with their math homework, you know a good laugh is exactly what the doctor ordered. Get out of here! shouts the bartender. The bartender says, "Why the long face?". I dont know how to do it. They've kept in touch after all these years. A little horse. 12 / 102. Why was the guitar teacher arrested? ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb. list jokes 'poker-jokes-that-are-sure-to-crack-even-the-toughest-poker Robin you, now hand over the cash. OK, now you say, Control Freak who?. dang i didnt know that ur so dumb u dont know the difference between answering and telling. 25 Clever Jokes That'll Make You Sound Smart | Reader's Digest Explore the latest videos from hashtags: #whendidiask, #whendidweask . document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', function() { No? Because they're always stuffed. I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus. What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, Anything you say can and will be held against you. The man replies, Boobs!. I don't know, and I don't care. A slipper. Not all men are annoying. So the next time someone tells you, nobody asked, just let them have it with one of these witty comebacks. Will glass coffins be a success? He worked it out with a pencil. Why is history like a fruit cake? Why did the chicken cross the road? We suppose you belong to those daredevils. If a dove is the bird of peace, then is a swallow the bird of love? Got a PS5 for my little brother. Approximately one GB. While it may be tempting to give a rude comment a piece of your mind, doing so is unlikely to change the situation for the better. You think youre funny, but youre snot!. Because it's not good to drink and derive. Dont worryweve explained each one, so you can still wow em with your humor and smarts. Ivana. Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake. Answer (1 of 77): @Danny Margulies "Did I ask you?" * No, but maybe you SHOULD have. Hey! Thats why Ive put together this list of 32+ witty comebacks for who asked and did I ask. I hope they help you the next time someone asks you this question! Everyone loves a good crowd-pleaserthat's why we call them that! I would kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. Did you hear the one about the roof? Sometimes its good to learn new things. Whats a adult actress favorite drink? My gay friend got fired from the sperm bank because they caught him drinking on the job. Continue with Recommended Cookies, It has happened to all of us. Oh, that? sniffs the castaway. Her mom responded, Maria, they just wanted to see your panties! Maria replied, See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!. Da brie was everywhere. In addition to the 70 jokes below, we've also got .css-k807px{-webkit-text-decoration:underline;text-decoration:underline;text-decoration-thickness:0.0625rem;text-decoration-color:brandColorSenary;text-underline-offset:0.25rem;color:#006603;-webkit-transition:background .4s ease-in-out,color .4s ease-in-out;transition:background .4s ease-in-out,color .4s ease-in-out;background:linear-gradient(to bottom,#e6f4e1 0,#e6f4e1 100%);-webkit-background-position:0 100%;background-position:0 100%;background-repeat:repeat-x;-webkit-background-size:0 0;background-size:0 0;}.css-k807px:hover{color:#29511A;text-decoration-color:border-link-body-hover;-webkit-background-size:0.625rem 3.125rem;background-size:0.625rem 3.125rem;}dad jokes, jokes for kiddos, mom jokes, and jokes for holidays that you can share them with the youngest person in the room. Bernadette. In a hambulance. How do you stop a bull from charging? One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" jokes just never get old. One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter. He's all right now. 28. You wait here. They saw an abandoned log cabin and went inside. One thing led to another and the lifelong question was answered: it was the chicken. If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. Exaggerations have become an epidemic. 31 Jokes About Work That'll Make Even Your Boss Laugh - Distractify Why do women have orgasms? This one is both funny and clever because at first, it seems like a strange response but then it becomes clear that you are calling the question asker dumb. Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. Short Jokes That Are Genuinely Funny: 1. If at first you dont succeed, stop trying already. Explore the latest videos from . Even if you love these clever jokes, youll still get a kick out of these anti-jokes. What did the little tree say to the big tree? As you can see, there are plenty of comebacks for who asked, nobody cares, etc. Why do oranges wear sunscreen? There is the attention you were looking for. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. This is another funny response that will make the question asker seem much dumber than they already do. Whats the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? What did one pencil say to the other pencil? It is all about reading a room and assessing a situation when you have to decide between a clever or funny response. 1. When you open the trunk, who is happy to see you? Aye matey. This response shows that you really dont care that you werent asked. By Sergios Rotar Whos there? When did you take a joke too far, and what happened? You could read it as seriously or as a joke didnt walk into the bar. If this made you roll your eyes, just wait until you read some of these dad jokes. 5. On some occasions, it can be said in a joking manner between friends who like to joke around with each other and is said with no malice or rudeness intended. If I promise to miss you, will you go, like, really far away? Men are like public toilets the good ones are taken and the rest are full of crap. Never mind, it's over your head. if( 'moc.enilnoefiltseb' !== location.hostname.split('').reverse().join('') ) { ", Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. You can negotiate with a terrorist. A fun answer is to answer a completely different question to confuse the other person. Many are one-liners so you can remember them to share and share again, and your kids can retell them to their friends too, maybe even years later. What did one Christmas tree decoration say to the other? 31 Stupid Jokes That Are So Dumb, They're Actually Funny - FunnyWorm Ok. (and then continuing usually does the trick). But grammatically speaking, whom is the object of the verb to., If Ive told you n times, Ive told you n+1 times. However, its not always rude. Whats another name for a vagina? Best trade I've ever done! Close the door, I'm dressing. Such as bosses, future bosses, hopeful romantic partners, future in-laws, or random people on the street. He loses. He told me to stop going to those places. Knock Knock! What do you call a bear without any teeth? Explanation: Say it to the opening of Beethovens Fifth Symphony, and youll get the joke. if you were actually the one being rude and butted into a conversation you were not a part of, a clever or funny response is not appropriate and it would be best to say nothing and simply step away. Jokes for Kids 2022. 11. As I mentioned, this page contains a list of funny question you can ask Cortana. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? 10 1 More answers below Mason Chen Just a random teenager 4 y Related Ivana who? navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); Id be fine if there werent so much blood in my alcohol system. After five years your job will still suck. Dont you hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious? 9. If you see me laughing, its because I already have. ), *stop what you are saying and say: "Wow you are rude, but I'm pretty sure asking "Who asked?" Explanation: Photons are particles representing an amount of light. A Master Baiter. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right side of the bed wakes up and says, Wow, I had this mad dream I was getting a hand job. The guy on the left side of the bed has also woken up and says that hes had the same dream, too. How do you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? A pork chop. You're not completely useless. You said youd be home by 11:45!, Actually, the mathematician replies coolly, I said Id be home by a quarter of 12., Explanation: Divide 12 by four, or a quarter. Ate something. What jokes similar to the "when did i ask joke"? - reddit Beano Jokes Team. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? When did I ask. When Did I Ask Funny Joke Humor Sarcastic Humorous Sticker By plydia From $2.02 Seven Days without a pun makes one weak white T-Shirt Sticker By Newline store From $3.36 Forget About Princess I Want To Be A Zebra Sticker Dress her up as an altar boy. Not to mention, it can also keep the kids busy while you're busy. 1. Well, they're not laughing now! A meltdown. When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". Dont assume thats not a major incentive. I know because they told me. Have fun with some of these. So they don't peel. Where are average things manufactured? Because every play has a cast. When do we want them? What you can ask Google Assistant - Google Assistant Help Original don't care + didn't ask. There was nothing left but de-Brie. Cereal. To get to the other side. While theres no guaranteed way to come up with the perfect comeback at the moment, there are a few witty responses that will put the other person in their place. 21. 27 Best Replies To "Did I Ask You?" (Funny & Clever) This is a funny response that puts the focus on the other person. the bear replies. Also if I asked you wouldn't be talking. Dont use them at work or around children. 101 Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember | Reader's Digest Confused by some of these clever jokes? Example of When did I ask? Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? This response is funny because it means nothing but will likely leave the question asker dumbfounded and therefore making them look dumb to everyone else. Explanation: A hyperbole is an exaggerated claimkinda like this joke. Joke, joke, jooooooooooooooke. They went up by a, Two cows are grazing in a field. With a mon-key. and our On June 15th, 2011, Neogaf [5] user Dizzy-4U used the line as a humorous response in a thread. Thats because when Marx was a little boy, he hated school. xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type', 'text/plain;charset=UTF-8'); Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? Curiosity makes us go forward and develop our intelligence. Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. No, the punchline comes before the setup when time travel is involved. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? What's E.T. I wonder how many people are in that field. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. 20 History Jokes We Dare You Not to Laugh At. 27. If they ask, "Who asked?" Plus, when you get home and your kids ask what you did today, you can tell them you managed to sprinkle some humor into your workday. But hay, its in my jeans. 3. If youre loving these clever jokes, youll get a kick out of these St. Patricks Day jokes youll want to share all year round. Me: *to the person I was talking to* 7 Up in cider. This one is funny because it seemingly implies that you didnt even realize that they were part of the conversation, making them look dumb and unimportant. Escaping 100 Layers of ICE vs Crayons! - Facebook Want more laughs? Dont forget to bookmark these hilarious what do you call jokes for future laughs! She wanted it in case she had to draw blood. If someone ever asks you who asked you, have one of these good comebacks for who asked ready to roll. Share the best GIFs now >>> Kid: who asked? I love jokes about eyes, the cornea the better. Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back? What do you call a hippie's wife? What did the pirate say when he turned 80? 10. What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? My mate says I'm getting fat, but in my defense I've had a lot on my plate recently. Even young children enjoy the structure of joke-telling; the setup, the unexpected punchline, then laughing out loud together! Youre dead if the rubber breaks. 46. Why do bees have sticky hair? Knock Knock! Now that youve cackled your way through these clever jokes, get your little ones in on the fun with these short jokes for kids. For example, Alexa can tell you Star Wars jokes, yo mama jokes and even some interesting trivia facts. These Why Jokes (with Answers!) Will Always Get a Laugh - Distractify This is another funny response that will leave the question asker feeling confused and dumbfounded while also returning to them the disrespect that they have shown you. You might like: 22+ Witty Comebacks for Rude People. You look drunk. Why having fun with a prostitute is like a bungee jumping? What do you call a pig that does karate? Fuck you said. Good Comebacks for Who Asked or Did I Ask? You boil the hell out of it. Just because you didnt ask doesnt mean you didnt need to be told. So youre the only one? What do you call a group of rabbits backing up? Between you and me, something smells. It all depends on you and the situation. These wisecracks are seriously hysterical. "Make me one with everything." 2. The infantry. This ability to anonymously put your thoughts out there for others to see leads people to frequently type and publish things they would NEVER say to someone's face. What's black and white and goes round and round? It shut all my friends up! Not all men are annoying. They're his watch dogs. Find out here! What did the full glass say to the empty glass? Do you want to hear a construction joke? No harm in telling the truth, you werent asked and this response is extra clever because it doesnt give the question asker the reaction from you that they were looking for. What do you call friends you listen to music with? 110+ Prime Math Jokes for Parents, Teachers, And Kids - Fatherly Alright, are you ready? The batroom. I'm a helicopter! 64 What Did The. Following that logic, this rhetorical joke doesnt have an answer either. Because it said Concentrate on the side of the can. The German replies, "Nein, just one.". Between you and me, something smells. A priest and a nun were on a mission trip up in the mountains when a snowstorm Came up. If a man talks dirty to a woman, thats sexual harassment. Because the queen reigned there for decades. Im not sure how I feel about masturbation On the one hand, its pretty great. Call and tell her about it. Once. Why couldn't the knife go back in the drawer? Sneakers. Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks? Please tell me this train of thought youre on has a caboose. Dont make me come in there! What do you call a zen master in charge of snacks? I guess it's just not in the cards for me. Whats the difference between your wife and your job? King Henry the Second who? When When When When When When When. To. That way it will never come for me. Discover when did i ask jokes 's popular videos | TikTok Then why are you still talking? var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest(); Well it's your lucky day, because we've got . What did the left eye say to the right eye? or, the ultimate classic, Knock knock? Wellness Habits + Accountability partner on Instagram: "There's kind of We have picked some adult jokes for you to use. "You wait here, I'll go on ahead.". What washes up on very small beaches? Here's a list of 55 . Who Asked / Nobody Asked | Know Your Meme Because they're really good at it. 50 Brilliant Sarcastic Jokes That Will Crack You Up When You're Feeling Snarky By Mlanie Berliet Updated February 10, 2022 1. "Go to [site name]" "Open [site name]" Search in your apps or websites. There just arent as many people who believe it. Because you should never drink and derive. Where does Batman go to the bathroom? Robin who? Totally shocked. How do you make a tissue dance? Explanation: Gathering dust (and other dirt) is a vacuum cleaners sole purpose. Must be none of your business then. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up. About. Im not sure; I was born with them.. Sometimes, you might be in a goofy mood or just want to laugh, so when someone asks did I ask you, you decide to give them a funny response. They have many fans. The brunette smells it and says it smells like cum. But John came fifth and won a toaster. 3. They both have an ability to misfire. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? The difference between kinky and perverted is the difference between using a feather, and using the rest of the bird.